The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
