he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
