I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
