Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
i need some magic done to my vagina
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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