He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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