it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
