And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
