Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize
