On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
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I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
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