Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
