So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Are my feet made of real feet?
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Randomize
