is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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