dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
