I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
