I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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