FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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