If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
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