So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Randomize
