i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
This show inspires me to have sex in space
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
