Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
