it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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