Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
