So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
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My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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