have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
