you have to choose: penises or morals?
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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