If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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