plz talk dirty to me
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
