her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
