This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
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That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
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the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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