Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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