I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
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