Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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