i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
