Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
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