He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
He shit in the fireplace
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
