You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
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