Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Randomize
