i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
