Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
