:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
