that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
