That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
