JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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