I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Randomize
