Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I just want to make out with him forever
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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