Whats the glycemic index on semen?
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
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