While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
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