what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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