I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
