Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
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