brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
