Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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