So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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