Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize